It's been a fascinating and refreshing week, though I've still been busy.  So busy, in fact, that I forgot about the Ancient Altars meeting on Thursday.  Fortunately, a friend of mine has promised to fill me in.

I'm beginning to be sort of known as a pagan around school, even though I haven't been to a single Ancient Altars meeting (simply due to stress and forgetfulness!) or outright told anybody that I'm pagan.  And, honestly, I like it that way.  No great big pentacles hanging on my neck, no outbursts of "oh my Goddess!", or anything similar.  Just me.  None of the other pagans at school are obviously out anyway, and for good reason.  This is the Bible Belt, where people get spat on by coworkers for not being Christian, and it's so bad that the Southern Baptists proseletyse (sp?) to the Catholics.  Even Bobby Jindal, who converted from Hinduism to Catholicism for personal reasons, calls himself a born-again Christian in his gubernatorial ads.  Ugh.  And this state is supposed to be so Catholic that we've got parishes instead of counties.  But I digress.  My apologies for the rant.

We've been discussing the effects of heavy metals on the body in science class, and somehow one girl brought up the use of belladonna.  Very weird moment.  Fortunately, one of my teacher's mantras is "just because it's natural doesn't mean it's good for you."  He is the awesomest science teacher I've had in a very long time.  I can't say awesomest science teacher ever, because I had one freshman year of high school that we swore was the real-life basis for Miss Frizzle, red hair, weird clothes, field trips and all.

I was reading The Triumph of the Moon in the school TV studio when a fellow student asked me what I was reading.  I told her, and she said, "good girls don't read that sort of thing."  Fortunately, I was able to explain that it was simply a history.  It was a pretty funny moment, actually.

Well, off to go put the laundry in the dryer!  Oh, and no breakdowns or utter craziness this week!  YAY!

Happy Mabon!  Or whatever you prefer to call it, of course.

I do realize that my last post was more than a little bitter, to put it mildly, and I don't think it helped anybody.  The day after I posted all that mess, I had a complete mental and physical breakdown after my first class.  I went home, had a bar of chocolate and a nice long soak in the tub, and felt quite better about everything in general.  I'll try not to be that negative in the future.  Oh, and there's now a blood pressure check on my to-do list.  I shouldn't be this way at 21, so I'd best be getting myself checked out.

Anyway, to the matter at hand - Mabon!  I'm not one for great big castings and rituals just yet, so most of my celebration today is through contemplation and noticing things.  It really is getting to be fall around here, though it didn't feel like it this morning.  However, over the past week it has gotten cool enough for me to turn off the air conditioning at night and not have to turn it on until the late afternoon.  There are fall leaves around my car's front wheels.  It's getting windier and rainier, since October and November are windy rainy messy months around here.  The ginko berries on the tree outside are drying up, and there is one little yellow leaf on it.  Oh, and I don't look like a doofus wearing a sweater in the mornings anymore.

Of course, there are also the slightly more ridiculous and less natural signs of fall around.  The seasonal merchandise is out around the stores now!  I picked up the most ridiculous-looking witch's hat I could find - black velvet with a purple and silver spangled feather boa around the brim.  I look fantabulous in it, of course!  I also got a fake pumpkin, because I know the critters in my home would wreck a real one.

Now, for the last matter - my public identity.  Yes, I'm not very good at segueways, am I?  On a lark on Friday, I looked for books relating to witchcraft in the school library.  There were the typical boring tomes on Salem, about a dozen copies of The Crucible, this one weird book from the seventies that equated covens with cults, and a history of modern pagan witchcraft entitled "The Triumph of the Moon,"  written by Ronald Hutton.   Guess which one I checked out?  "The Triumph of the Moon" has been a pretty good read so far, although it is slightly academic at times.  Of course, I've only finished the first chapter, so I can't really give a full book review.

But I digress.  I left my book on the table in the TV studio green room (that's where I work my pants off for free tuition, oh yes, televsion!) while I went off to stick my hand up a puppet's bum and make her talk for a segment we produce called "Today in History."  After finishing up, while gathering my things to go home, one of my coworkers asked me if "that book on witchcraft - the Triumph of the Moon" was mine.  I said yes, I'd checked it out from the library, and he then began to go on about how he thought the library didn't have anything good to read.  Alas, the words on my screen don't do it justice.  You see, he didn't think the book was crap, but was surprised that I'd found such a good read!  He and I and another coworker continued the conversation about what few good books the library does have (they just got the His Dark Materials trilogy in, yay!) until we left to go to our respective cars.

So, instead of going "OMG your a witch!" he was just like, "oh, okay, cool!"   It's a relief to see that at least one person outside of Ancient Altars doesn't mind my Paganism.  But the talk about me coming out as a witch doesn't end there.  Gah!

In my Acting class, we have an assignment for Tuesday to write a monologue on who we are.  There are a number of things to list, including religion.  It's not required, of course, as we are allowed to only reveal as much as we want.  However, I feel that this is a pretty important part of me, yet I don't want to say it in front of thirty people while it's being recorded on tape.  I'm meditating on it tonight, and will write the monologue tomorrow night.

Whew!  Another far too long blog post over.  I wish all of you lots of chocolate and kitty nuzzles!  Blessed Be!

Yes, I know, I've been neglecting all of you.  But I have been super-busy.  And, sadly, life has decided to be super-dramatic as well.

Last night, I had to call the police because it was very obvious that the man and woman who live on the other side of the back wall from me were squabbling yet again.  Okay, that's putting it mildly.  He was beating her, and she was screaming.  I heard all of it.  Needless to say, it left me shaken, scared, hurt, and quite thankful that my guy only hits me if I ask him to (tee hee).  This is the second time that I have had to call the police about it, and I have heard this happening many more times than that.  I only call the cops when I have probable cause, which happens far too infrequently because of the thick walls.  Still, this is beginning to seriously affect my already fragile mental health.  I'm taking this up with the landlady tomorrow.  There they go again with the thumps ... not even turning up my iPod helps, because I can feel the thumps, since I live on the second floor. And I can feel that she's being hurt by him, and she isn't doing anything to leave, I don't even know if she can.  I'm bringing it up with the landlady because I can get the guy in trouble on account of the constant thump noises if nothing else.

Now, school is typically my mental refuge from the horrors on the other side of the wall at home.  There's a special corner tucked far away in the departmental offices where there's a couch that I like to study in, and I felt much better this morning after a catnap on it.  But ... there's drama at school too.  Not with specific people, but organizations.  There is an "Interfaith Convocation" tomorrow at 12:00.  However, it's clear that it's simply an interdenominational church service and was done without any concern for religions other than Christianity, especially considering that our school pagan group meets at 12:30, and that meeting's been scheduled for quite a while.  I'm bringing it up tomorrow at the meeting.  We've got a pretty good advisor, and I've also got a Christian friend who was concerned about the use of the term "interfaith" on the posters around campus.  I'm very disappointed that many Christians feel they can use the terms "interfaith" and "interdenominational" interchangably.  It's a major pet peeve of mine.

On the happy side of news (always end on an up note, it's a rule of any local newscast), the Ancient Altars meething tomorrow is the first one I will be attending.  By the sound of it, they will be glad to have another member.  I'm going to see if we can't organize a lunch thing, since that's when the meetings are.  It's going to be a big step for me.  I'll tell how it went tomorrow.

Last night, the kitten took a flying leap off the top of the fridge and sprained his leg.  He was still limping a bit this morning, but nothing is broken.  I may take him in to the vet Monday morning, just to make sure, but his limp is nearly gone.  I have been taking good care of him and keeping him in the carrier so that he won't roam around and hurt himself more.  He has plenty of food and water in there too.

Still, last night's misadventure taught me something: you can't only think of the Rede in terms of what spells do; you also have to think about everyday things, like training kittens to keep of the counter so they will not be able to get on top of the fridge and leap off.

Needless to say, the apartment is getting a very good once-over this morning to keep the cats from further harm, and to keep the mounting piles of homework organized.

I apologise for not having been on lately.  I started my last semester of school this week, and it's been a doozy!  It all started with me getting "tapped," as my father put it, right outside my apartment on my first drive to school.  Being that I had an 8 am class in about 25 mins, and that I was a novice driver, I flipped out ... but no damage!  And none to the other driver, who seemed to be in pretty much the same situation as me.  I'm glad that I forgot my coffee that morning, because I would have been taking a sip just as my car was jolted, and my new sweater would have been soaked.  Such a good witchy sweater too, it looks like something Dolores Umbridge would wear, except it's in olive green fleece.  I have to wear sweaters because the TV studio must be kept at 60-65 degrees so the equipment won't overheat.

My acting class on Tuesday mornings is going to be podcast via iTunes U, and I'm backup cameraperson.  It's quite strange, seeing how iTunes U consists of a bunch of Ivy Leagues, public Ivy Leagues, and ... my school.  Guess I lucked out as far as school choice goes!

Enrollment is way up.  There are 25+ people in all of my classes except for my night class.

Just as I realize that I'm painfully broke, two checks arrived in the mail.  One for my scholarship, and a random one from my aunt for "gas money."  I'm lucky.  But ... the scholarship check has decided to disappear on me!  I'm hunting through the mess that is my living room for it this morning, because I need it.  Silly me, never keeping proper track of things.  I'm even going to rummage through the trash, just in case.

I really really cleaned my bedroom yesterday.  The kitties are very happy about that.  Yes, still plural on the cats. My SO is helping me continue to foster little Gambit-cat until he finds a home, which may just end up being his apartment once he moves.

As far as spiritual matters go, I'm going to have to get my books one at a time, used from Amazon, at least until I'm making a bit more money.

It'll have been two years this week.  I'm going to avoid the TV and radio so my PTSD isn't going nuts on me.  I nearly had an attack by just seeing an article about it in the paper on my neighbor's doorstep this morning.

Well, I'd better go get the laundry started.